the importance of being earnest

sometimes it is necessary to go to Jake's

life is one big parlor game

this girl is a regular character in most people's everyday life...
if you are such an expert, why don't you get married... old maid

and btw, you have goopy eye makeup and need to stop reading back issues of Redbook
you also might need to loosen up on the tightness of your ponytail... that might be why you are so high strung

when my site gets up and running this coffee mug will be for sale

make a statement...that statement being "get out of my face unless you have designs on being burned with scalding coffee"


i wanted to throw scalding coffee on the city of detroit and tiger fans today... they have to be the singularly most stupid group of fans in the biggest shit hole in the entire world... panhandlers outnumbered fans 3 to 1... nice 'water fireworks' also mike illitch... the good news was that the Tribe stomped in the Tigers' nuts 10-2... detroiters better hope that the pistons and redwings tear it up in the playoffs because the tigers are well on their way to battling the royals for last in the division

something fresh & something you can sell on e-bay
because "you were there from the beginning!!!"











print this to show you are a trendsetter

Ugg boots are not proper baseball game attire

So opening day at the Jake was yesterday... it was awesome in almost every aspect... everything except...

- the hippies from Oberlin picketing against the Chief Wahoo logo... yeah, I'm a racist because I root for a baseball team w/ whites, blacks, mexicans, asians, puerto ricans, dominicans, venezuelans on it

- chickenheads yelling about grady sizemore... feel free to cheer players but if I have to listen to you sqwauk about what a dreamboat he is I will flip out... this means you annoying girl who was not watching the game and would yell 'what did grady do?!!!!' in the most grating voice i could ever imagine... thank god it was freezing cold so i didn't have to see the pink 'mrs. sizemore' jerseys

-lime green ugg boots and skirts are not appropriate opening day gear, nor are they appropriate 45 degree gear... you are stupid and i hope you die from hypothermia

- if you wait in a line to get into a sports bar you are a tool
( bar person- 3 hours, 45 minutes standing outside in rain, $18, 3 -10 oz bud lights and one shitty burger)
(intelligent people- 1 hour all not getting rained on, $8, 6-16oz Old Milwaukee tallboys and a crap load of asian food)

"wow friend that 12 oz bud light draft for only $5 dollars looks really tasty, too bad I'll just have to drink these three tallboys that i brought into the stadium"

tribe time

tomorrow is the indians' home opener


i will be there... drinking


i hope ben broussard(team scapegoat for the uninformed) doesn't make me have to scream obscenities at him

yay for jake's

i photoshopped in all that notebook paper